March snow.

Exciting changes a foot at our house (more to come on this soon!).

And a feeling of extreme busyness that I don’t like.

All this made me appreciate the bumper sticker above all the more.

I was sitting in traffic at school drop off. It was a delayed opening in March thanks to snow, ice and general yuckiness. Traffic was crazy. I was in a rush to get home to get something done before I had to leave again for a meeting.

And then I looked up. Through the ice pellets falling on my windshield, I saw two simple words.

Serenity now.

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Sometimes Katherine likes to look like this.

Sometimes she likes to look like this.

And other times she likes to look like this.

This all seems like a good thing. Variety is, after all, the spice of life.

But for some reason, our society has introduced something totally evil.

Year round sports.

If Katherine plays softball this spring she will be balancing softball, soccer and dance. Dance makes sense to me. Dance has no season. In my world soccer is a fall sport. In our town though, soccer is a year round sport. This spring, for Katherine at age six, soccer is optional but the pressure is there. The feeling becomes that if other girls play in the spring, they will be ‘ahead’ come fall. How can I even be thinking these things? Worrying that other girls will be ahead at the age of six?

Something has gone terribly wrong when a six year old, in order to enjoy a variety of activities, is forced to also be over scheduled. There is a desperate need for balance. Let’s hope that I can find it…

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“We are all trying to escape our existence, hoping that a better version of us is waiting just behind that promotion, that perfect relationship, that award or accolade, that musical performance, that dress size, that raucous night at a party, that hot night with a new lover. Everyone needs to be pursuing something, right? Otherwise, who are we? How about, quite simply, people? How about human? This is the great message of Shelley’s Frankenstein. Part of Ronan’s myth was this acknowledgment that we need the freedom to be people, that’s all.”

-Emily Rapp, The Still Point of the Turning World

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You know when you catch a snap shot of exactly where your mind is, right here, right now?

This afternoon, I made brownies while drinking my favorite green juice.

And at first, it didn’t even seem strange. Until I put down my bottle of powerful, life affirming nutrients so that I could have two hands to measure out a cup and a quarter of white, refined sugar.

At first, I got grumpy. Why am I such a contradiction, I thought? I know what foods make me feel happy and strong but I don’t always eat them. I know that down time makes me feel better but I don’t always rest. I know that writing daily is the best thing for my soul but sometimes days will go by.

But perhaps what I need to do instead of getting discouraged is to take this picture to heart. There is a little goodness in the greens and in the sugar. In the wise choices and the fun choices.

For now, I think I will raise my green juice as I taste my brownies and love them both… because that’s just what is…

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Lately I have discovered some really fun, new-to-me magazines.

In case these are new to you too, enjoy!

Anthology

The Sun

Taproot

Creative Nonfiction

 

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This was the kind of weekend that was long on fun, family and friends but short on writing.

So… I just read this great snippet on Facebook thanks to the wonderful Jen Robinson of Jen Robinson’s Book Page and thought I would share it here in lieu of a full blog post.

It also reminded me of a great picture we took of the girls reading by flashlight during Hurricane Sandy in the fall.

The snippet reads…

Son: Not sure if you know this, but when I was little I’d stay up past my bedtime, reading books under the covers with a flashlight.

Me: Who do you think bought you the flashlight?

Great idea if you ask me!

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The Paradox Of Our Age

We have bigger houses but smaller families;

more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense;

more knowledge but less judgment;

more experts, but more problems;

more medicines but less healthiness.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,

but have trouble in crossing the street to meet our new neighbour.

We built more computers to hold more copies than ever,

But have less real communication;

We have become long on quantity,

but short on quality.

These are times of fast foods but slow digestion;

Tall men but short characters;

Steep profits but shallow relationships.

It’s a time when there is much in the window

But nothing in the room.

-author unknown-

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I know this quote alludes to book reading but it sums up perfectly why I blog. I distinctly remember, nearly ten years ago now, sitting in the tiny room in Richmond that we used as an office. I had googled some combination of colic, reflux and sleep deprivation and among many other sites, a blog came up. At the time, I had no idea that blogs existed.

Unfortunately, I don’t remember which blog it was (see colic, reflux and sleep deprivation above and insert, not much memory at the time) but I can picture the colors; browns and greens, an original Blogger template. I read the words over and over again. The author had a baby who cried more that she slept. She wrote about her exhaustion, her confusion, her loneliness.

And suddenly, I wasn’t alone. A world full of blogs opened up for me and they led me to books like Literary Mama; Reading for the Maternally Inclined, It’s a Girl; Women Writers on Raising Daughters and Mother Shock; Loving Every (Other) Minute of It. Now when I know other moms who are overwhelmed, I go to my bookcases and fill a bag with these books and others. I will leave them on a friend’s doorstep so they know that they too are not alone.

And that is the gift of reading right there. With books, you are never, ever alone.

 

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Caroline was not an easy baby or toddler. Sleep eluded her (and therefore me). She cried loudly and often. She was sensitive to sound, light and texture. She much preferred to say no than yes. During those years, I cried easily and the dark circles under my eyes were hard to miss. Friends and family would often remind me to enjoy those years. “Small children, small problems. Bigger children, bigger problems.”, they would say.

I thought they were all crazy.

They weren’t.

Over the weekend, Caroline and I went jean shopping.

Because she is still a bit sensitive and in need of soft fabrics, we have been buying more name brand jeans to get the better fabric. We spent a long time trying on  jeans with names like ‘skinny’, ‘twig’ and ‘painted on’. And I am not exaggerating. Time and time again, the jeans were too tight and Caroline is far from overweight.

After taking one more trip out of the dressing room to find another pair to try, I returned to the dressing room to find Caroline sitting on the floor and crying.

“Mom, I’m fat, aren’t I?”

Caroline is not even ten years old and the fashion industry, as they sell jeans marketed to twigs, has convinced my gorgeous, strong, intelligent and creative girl that she is fat.

Turns out all those people were not crazy after all.

Any day, you can bring me a sleepless night and a defiant toddler who does not yet know that society will one day judge her on the circumference of her thighs.

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It appears that February was not a rock star month for me on the reading front. I actually considered skipping this post but I did that last year a few months in and never posted monthly updates again so here goes..

Last month, I alluded to an amazingly wonderful book so here it is.. .

Tell the Wolves I’m Home is the story of 14 year old June whose uncle dies of AIDS in the early days of the disease. The book was one that was hard to put down and that I have kept thinking about long after I finished reading. In fact, I almost believe I can blame Tell the Wolves I’m Home on my slow reading month. Anything I’ve picked up since finishing it was hard to read in comparison.

When I get stuck this way with fiction, I turn to non-fiction for a bit.

I spent the rest of the month dabbling with writing books like The Renegade Writer’s Query Letters that Rock,

social media books like Melissa Taylor’s Pinterest Savvy

 

and decorating books like Holly Becker’s Decorate.

Here’s to a happy March full of reading!

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