A few months ago, my friend Beth told me that she had an exciting idea. She was thinking about creating a website for tween girls. I have been part of the amazing creative process that has occurred over these months and I couldn’t be more excited to announce the launch of Betwixt Girls, a lifestyle site for tweens.

A talented, diverse and smart group of women, all mothers of tweens, have come together to create the site they were missing for their girls. Betwixt Girls will entertain, educate and grow a safe community for girls to learn their way around social media.

Please check out Betwixt Girls, share the site widely and provide lots of feedback. The site has just gone live so we’d love to know what you like, what doesn’t feel quite right, what you would keep and what you would change. We are hoping to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. And then maybe more good.

I can’t wait to see where this goes….

 

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We used to go to the library every week and fill a big L.L. Bean canvas bag full of picture books. The girls would look through them on their own and would often bring me books to read aloud. Somehow, over the last few months, I’d fallen out of the habit. Together we were read ‘big’ books like the Penderwicks and Harry Potter. Caroline was reading and reading and reading, anything she could get her hands on from The Babysitters Club to Bigger than a Breadbox. Katherine was beginning the adventure of independent reading choosing books like The Critter Club and Cam Jansen.

I was at the library the other day and on a whim, filled my bag again with picture books. I was missing them but wasn’t sure how the girls would react. I should have known. Every day, multiple times a day, Katherine has come up to me with a book in hand saying, “Could you read this?” While Caroline has shown a bit less interest, I’ve noticed that she tends to appear with a question whenever I am reading with Katherine.

I hope that I don’t forget the picture books again. We have missed them.

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For now, peonies are my favorite flower. They are here and beautiful for such a short time that I thought this quote was the perfect accompaniment.

“Forever is composed of nows.”

-Emily Dickinson

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Yesterday was bulk refuse day here. That means that the sidewalks are strewn with people’s hand-me-downs. Garbage too big and unusual for the garbage trucks. For Katherine, bulk refuse day is very frustrating. Yesterday she saw treasures in everyone’s trash and begged me, to and from school, to collect things.

After all the times I said no, she was thrilled when the UPS man delivered a nice, clean box to our doorstep. I let her use this box and she disappeared up in to her room.

She returned a bit later and said, “I think I’m going to take a break from being an author for today.”

When I went upstairs to figure out what an empty box had to do with being an author, I discovered the beautiful writing nook above.

Now if that isn’t the definition of turning trash in to treasure, I don’t know what is…

 

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So I am going to cheat a little bit. Today’s Virtual Book Club post is on Chapter 3 and it is ‘supposed’ to follow the guidelines that I set up at the beginning- summary, favorite quote, questions. But I’m going off course.

I have been super stressed about getting this post written this week. Moving has kicked in to high gear as we pack, close and begin work on the new house on Friday. I looked at Chapter 3 yesterday and discovered that it was the really long chapter.  I wondered how I was ever going to get it done.

And then I remembered that is is the Velveteen Rabbit chapter. This chapter ends with one of my favorite passages of all time. And this is a chapter in a book about knowing that you are enough right where you are. So instead of stressing and writing what I am ‘supposed’ to write, I am going to share the quote. And that is all. I want to remind each of you what Brene Brown writes at the end of this chapter and what my mom reminded me of when she gave me the Velveteen Rabbit above for my birthday this year.

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real.

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

-Margery Williams, Velveteen Rabbit

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I love getting messages from friends who have seen or read something that they think I might like. Today, this e-mail popped into my in-box from my dear friend Caroline.

“Do you get this? I loved her descriptions of different kinds of readers, and thought it was right up your alley…”

And she included this link to The Pioneer Woman’s blog.

In this post, Ree writes about three different types of readers and how they choose their next book.

She describes the Lister (me!), The Digger and The Floater. And then she gives some great looking book lists!

I love readings that help people understand how they act and think and more importantly, how everyone is different. I can’t imagine being anything other than a Lister.

How about you? How do you choose your next read?

Image Source: I found this amazing picture thanks to Jen Robinson’s Pinterest Board (she is totally worth following if you are a Pinner!) and she found the picture at Write Now is Good. 

 

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Tonight, while wasting time (perhaps) on Facebook,  I learned that a childhood friend lost her husband, Greg, to pancreatic cancer.

Maggie and I were friends in middle school. I honestly don’t know how long it has been since we last talked. Twenty five years perhaps?

Maggie is a jewelry maker and Facebook suggested I like her site a few years ago. Since then I have received updates about her shows and newest pieces. I may have given some thought to this old friend, glad she was doing work she clearly loved. And then a few months ago, the tone of her messages changed. Her husband had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I started to pay a bit more attention to her posts, intrigued by the amazingly loving community that surrounded her.

Over the past few months, I have watched this community hold fundraisers, respond immediately to requests for help and send positive and loving comments to this strong couple. Clearly Greg and Maggie were people who loved and were loved deeply.

I learned that Greg, in his last days, did not want to hear goodbye but only, I love you.

When I found myself scrolling through one comment after the other supporting and loving Maggie after she posted the news of Greg’s death, I got angry. Without Facebook, I would never have known this sad news. My first response was how silly I was being and what a waste of time Facebook could be.  I was crying over the loss of this man that I did know. I was crying with sadness for an old, old friend who probably would not recognize me if I walked in to her living room today.

What unnecessary sadness, I thought.

But maybe not. Of course, I have wasted many hours on Facebook but maybe this time was not wasted. I know that over the next few days I will think often of Maggie and send love to her and to Greg. And I suppose any time spend sending love is not wasted.

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“This is the first, the wildest and the wisest thing I know; that the soul exists and is built entirely out of our attentiveness.”

-Mary Oliver

I was walking with a friend the other day and her daughter pointed from the stroller to draw our eyes to this robin egg lying right at the corner of the street. And then I found the quote about at Write Click, a great new-to-me site and the two just seemed perfect for each other.

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I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. And in retrospect, I’m not sure why I thought that it would happen any sooner than it did.

Caroline, who is now the very definition of a voracious reader, did not start reading fluently until the end of first grade. All this year, Katherine has been making slow and steady progress but not really reading ‘for fun.’ I would show her book after book, hoping to catch her interest on a rainy weekend afternoon. And nothing really took.

Until this weekend. We went to the book store to buy a baby gift and I let Katherine make a few choices for herself. She chose a couple of short chapter books and finally found the ticket. She found a book with big type, a few simple pictures, lots of white space on the page and an easy to follow plot.

For those of you who are curious, the actual book was The Critter Club but I’ve realized that the title doesn’t really matter.

For some children and perhaps many, I believe the key is a chapter book with a fun plot, big type and some pictures. Children who grow up in houses of readers know that readers read thick books. Not early readers or Bob books. Those types of books are for school, not home.

It wasn’t until Katherine found just the right thick book that I found her standing in the living room looking like this..

 

 

 

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I am so excited to welcome my wonderful friend Maren here today to share her thoughts and writing on Chapter 2 of Daring Greatly.

In this chapter Brene beautifully outlines what I would say are the definitions we tell ourselves of vulnerability.  She uses them as myths or excuses as to why we do not show up as vulnerable in our lives.  #1: “Vulnerability is Weakness” She describes vulnerability as “the core of all emotions and feelings.  To feel is to be vulnerable.  To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness.”  #2: “I Don’t Do Vulnerability” Brene says we do not have a choice here, life is vulnerable we cannot avoid risk, uncertainty, relationships.  Being alive means we are vulnerable.  #3: “Vulnerability is Letting it All Hang Out”  My favorite one, she says “Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.”  #4: “We Can Go it Alone”  She references the “Man in the Arena” speech to show us that although revered in our culture to go it alone it never really works out, she says “the people who love me, the people I really depend on, were never the critics who were pointing at me while I stumbled.  They weren’t in the bleachers at all.  They were with me in the arena.  Fighting for me and with me.”

I love how she literally calls us on the excuses we make as to why we won’t/can’t be vulnerable, the beauty of reading this and the responses she outlines from her studies is that we are all so similar.  So why are we not talking about what makes us vulnerable?  What specifically scares us?  In that sharing we will find those that support us, those in the arena with us.  It is easier to move through our fears with the support and affirmations of those that truly want to see us happy and successful, they mirror to us the confidence we want to see and feel in ourselves.  The more we practice vulnerability and surround ourselves with our people in the arena, the easier it gets to take chances, ignore the critics and find freedom to step into our authentic lives and dreams.

What excuses do you have for not being vulnerable?  What is the fear that paralyzes you from moving toward your dreams?

 

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