I am so excited to welcome my wonderful friend Maren here today to share her thoughts and writing on Chapter 2 of Daring Greatly.
In this chapter Brene beautifully outlines what I would say are the definitions we tell ourselves of vulnerability. She uses them as myths or excuses as to why we do not show up as vulnerable in our lives. #1: “Vulnerability is Weakness” She describes vulnerability as “the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness.” #2: “I Don’t Do Vulnerability” Brene says we do not have a choice here, life is vulnerable we cannot avoid risk, uncertainty, relationships. Being alive means we are vulnerable. #3: “Vulnerability is Letting it All Hang Out” My favorite one, she says “Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.” #4: “We Can Go it Alone” She references the “Man in the Arena” speech to show us that although revered in our culture to go it alone it never really works out, she says “the people who love me, the people I really depend on, were never the critics who were pointing at me while I stumbled. They weren’t in the bleachers at all. They were with me in the arena. Fighting for me and with me.”
I love how she literally calls us on the excuses we make as to why we won’t/can’t be vulnerable, the beauty of reading this and the responses she outlines from her studies is that we are all so similar. So why are we not talking about what makes us vulnerable? What specifically scares us? In that sharing we will find those that support us, those in the arena with us. It is easier to move through our fears with the support and affirmations of those that truly want to see us happy and successful, they mirror to us the confidence we want to see and feel in ourselves. The more we practice vulnerability and surround ourselves with our people in the arena, the easier it gets to take chances, ignore the critics and find freedom to step into our authentic lives and dreams.
What excuses do you have for not being vulnerable? What is the fear that paralyzes you from moving toward your dreams?