Last week, my mother sent me an e-mail directing me to an article she had posted on Facebook.

Ironically, the whole day went by before I had a chance to read it. Once I did, I knew I wanted to write about it and then, ironically a bunch of days went by before I even had a chance to write a blog post.

The article was aptly titled, “The Disease of Being Busy.” If you didn’t have a chance to read it when it was circulating, click through here and read it. It is well worth the time.

What I struggle with, of course, is finding the balance. There are weeks that go by when I have lots of time. I am an avid reader and, of late, an avid television watcher. Can we talk about Homeland for a minute, please? Truly incredible story telling and acting but I digress. There are weeks when I have time to do these things and I understand why I have volunteered for so much and then there are weeks when I can’t catch a moment to sit still.

I am in my 40s. One would hope that I would have figured this out by now but I feel like I am not even close. Although I suppose this is not entirely true. I know now what I want to be doing so this is a step in the right direction. I just haven’t figured out how to fit it all in. I haven’t figured out how to say no to the small stuff that seems like it won’t take any time but does. I haven’t figured out how to get off of Facebook quickly so that there is time for more meaningful pursuits. I haven’t figured out how to make use of the small snippets of time. I haven’t figured out how to acknowledge that there are not big chunks of time and I should embrace the small moments.

I guess I just need a little bit more time to understand it all…

 

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I recently discovered  Raluca at What Would Gweneth Do when she was featured at one of my favorite spots, A Design So Vast.

Recently Raluca wrote a post titled, In This Moment. I hope she believes in the adage ‘flattery is the best compliment’ because I am going to borrow her post because I liked it that much.

In this moment…

I am overwhelmed with helping the girls navigate the school worlds they occupy right now. Each time I figure out how to handle something for one, a new issue arises for the other.

I am jealous of my dog who lays beside me, sound asleep with out a care in the world. Her little paws are running and I swear she is smiling.

I am excited to be hosting a dinner party as part of a school event this weekend. I always get a little nervous about hosting but ultimately, I love being able to invite friends into our home.

I am bummed that winter air is headed our way. We had glorious fall days this year and I wish they would stick around for a little bit longer.

I am frustrated that every time I think I have taken control of my sugar addiction, I stumble upon yet another bag of Halloween candy that ‘requires’ my attention.

I am curious to know who was murdered on The Affair. I am a few episodes behind so don’t tell me.

And I am glad that I stuck with Homeland. I was pretty disappointed in the first few episodes this fall but this week’s made it all worth it.

I am intrigued by the book The Minaturist. There is an air of mystery and I like the confusion that I feel right now. It keeps the pages turning.

 

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The same pile of books has sat on my bed side table since we moved a year and a half ago. My current reads come and go but this pile of books has remained. Today, I picked up one, brought it downstairs and read.

I have read Anna Quindlen’s Being Perfect a few times but not in a long time. I read it today with thoughts of Caroline who is completely consumed with perfection in all areas of her life right now. I was hoping to find a word or two of wisdom to share.

I found many including…

“Trying to be perfect may be inevitable for people who are smart and ambitious and interested in the world and its good opinion. But at one level it’s too hard and at another, it’s too cheap and easy. Because all it really requirers of you, mainly is to read the zeitgeist of wherever and whenever you happen to be and to assume the masks necessary to be the best at whatever the zeitgeist dictates or requires.”

and

“I was mesmerized by that phrase: effortless perfection. Obviously it is an oxymoron. Even the illusion of perfection requires an enormous amount of work.”

I had Caroline in my mind the whole time I was reading until I arrived at this line…

“There’s some muscle group around your shoulders that seizes up during the perfection dance and doesn’t let go until you are asleep, or alone. Or maybe it never really lets go at all.”

Hmmm. Over the last few months, I have done many things to try to get my body back in to shape to run. I have always exercised but had to give up running a few years ago because my shoulders became painfully tight during and after a run. I have tried many types of exercises, classes and programs. In fact, Rob jokes that I have been to every gym in Bergen County.

While, ironically, I think I may have found the perfect combination at the moment, I had to read the sentence above over and over again. I know that running is part of why my shoulders are tight. But that said, I know my shoulders have always been tight and I know they have been tight because of the ‘perfection dance.’

I have vivid memories of walking down my high school hallway, Mr. Sphoer’s history room on the left and Mrs. Barrows geometry room on the right and feeling my shoulders creeping up to my ears. I did then and do now remind myself constantly to lower my shoulders. To take deep, slow breaths. I have never been good at stopping the ‘perfection dance’ myself, of giving my shoulders a rest. Perhaps, as I think about the role model I must be for Caroline, I can find a way to relax those muscles once and for all…

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