I have finally started to jot down notes- articles to go back to, books to read, things I want to remember long enough to write about them. My memory for detail has always wavered but during this time of ultimate distraction, thoughts and ideas fly in and then out of my head at record speed. So, I’ve been taking notes in Google Docs and in my notebook. Last night, as I collected the laundry basket from our closet, I spotted my new pair of sneakers. A few years ago I discovered Gola, a brand of casual sneakers. They are comfortable and cute enough to wear with leggings in the winter and sundresses in the summer- rounding out my typical daily uniform.
We were scheduled to take a long awaited spring break to Florida this year so before we saw the writing on the wall, I ordered new bathing suits and a new pair of Golas with a summer-y bright yellow stripe. I returned the bathing suits but kept the sneakers and they sit in my closet taunting me each day. Last night, when I got downstairs, I opened up my Google Doc and wrote down the words- ‘the site of summer-y sneakers.’ I was angry when I wrote the note. Mad at this inanimate object that tricks me into thinking I might have a chance to leave our house this summer in a pair of fun sneakers.
Of course, I had forgotten about my sneaker sighting by this morning but I was reminded of it when I opened my Google Doc. I am in an on-line writing class right now with the amazing Jena Schwartz- if you don’t know Jena, please go visit her site. Jena’s writing prompts are the best and she and her community are definitely a large part of what is getting me through this time. Jena’s writing prompt this morning was ‘Tell Us About Your Plans’. In her prompt, Jena quoted her rabbi who said that he is ‘‘planning for the future as if there is one.’ I re-read my notes from last night with a different lens. After reading those words, my note about my sneakers didn’t bring on the same anger as it had last night. Perhaps in my subconscious, these summer-y, yellow striped sneakers are a way of planning for the future as if there is one? I took my sneakers out today and started breaking them in. Let’s cross all our fingers and toes that we have trips and parties and get togethers to go to this summer. Afterall, I have my shoes all picked out and ready to go.