Stacey Loscalzo

Oct 09

A Rebel’s Thoughts For Wednesday

by Stacey

One of my favorite people to follow on Instagram is Hitha Palepu. She is a mom, an investor and a super smart person to follow. Her #5smartreads are part of my must-reads every day. All that said, she wrote something super simple in response to a question on her IG stories the other day that just might have gotten me out of my writing rut. When asked which of Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies (if you are unfamiliar with Rubin’s work, here is a good summary of her Four Tendency framework) she was, she responded ‘rebel/wanna be upholder.’ 

Ah ha!! I’m not sure why I need this reminder all the time but I do. I think I am an upholder- someone who meets both outside and inside expectations. Therefore, I set myself up for routines like ‘Thoughts for Thursday’ blog posts that will keep me to a schedule. But you know what? I am actually a rebel and therefore this structured approach backfires every single time I try it. 

I wish Rubin had chosen a different label for this personality type as I believe most rebels do not actually think they are rebels. Anyone else out there rebelling against their rebel label? Perhaps if I wasn’t picturing that guy from the Breakfast Club in the leather jacket, I would attach more to my actual tendency. And yes, my memory in general and my ‘famous-person-name-recall’ is actually so bad that I have no idea this rebel’s real or fictional name. I’m sure you all can help me out? But anyway, Rubin defines rebels this way- “Rebels resist all expectations, both inner and outer alike. They want to do what they want to do, in their own way, in their own time — and if you ask or tell them to do something, they’re very likely to resist.”

I certainly don’t want to believe this of myself but you know what- the older I get, the more true it is. I was an upholder as a student for sure. But as a regular old adult- I have rebel written all over myself. 

Therefore, after I decided that I would write a weekly blog post titled Thoughts for Thursday, you know what kicked in strong? My rebel tendency with a strong side of perfectionism. And you know what happened then? I didn’t write. Each Thursday recently, I have sat down at my computer or with pen in hand and thought and thought and thought. I had lots of “thoughts on Thursdays” but none of them really seemed ‘good enough’ for the “Thoughts for Thursday” post so I wrote nothing. And then I focused on the picture. If I wrote something would I have the ‘right’ picture to go with the post? To post on IG and FB?

So I am here on a Wednesday instead with some thoughts. And a totally random and unrelated picture. Here’s hoping some more follow soon. 

And in the meantime, here is a link to Rubin’s Four Tendencies Quiz. I would love to know what tendency you are!

4 Comments

  1. Jen Robinson says:

    I am totally an Upholder. I can’t even leave my car parked touching one of the lines. Nor can I ever stop to read until everything on my task list is finished :-). My daughter is a rebel, though, which is pretty challenging. She will literally say things like: “When you tell me I have to do it, I CAN’T do it because I don’t want to give in.” The upcoming teen years are going to be super fun. Thanks for this reminder to re-read those sections of Gretchen’s book.

  2. Your Aunt.... says:

    On the outside I appear the “upholder” (as a Horton should)however, quivering inside me is the “rebel”. Oh the tales Betty and Charlie could tell and your mother….. I have always wanted to walk the path less taken and not trod where far too many have gone before me.

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