Since the election, I have been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by sadness, confusion and a need to understand what brought our country to the election of Donald Trump. And importantly, what made Trump’s election such a shock to so many of us. As a writer and a volunteer, I was paralyzed. There were so many directions I wanted to go in that instead, I went in none.

Now that a month has passed, I’ve gained some clarity. There are issues that are vitally important. Trump named a man with a loud racist voice to be his closest advisor. I will pay attention to him and what he says and does. Trump named a woman with a loud anti-public school voice to lead our Education Department. I will pay close attention to her and the changes that she recommends for our schools. Trump named a man who does not believe in the scientifically proven facts of global warming to lead the Environmental Protection Agency. I will pay attention to what he says and does.

In addition, Donald Trump continues to say things that I believe disqualify him to lead our country. This week, he spoke to a room full of people about the fact that Time Magazine’s Person of the Year used to be Time Magazine’s Man of the Year. In this speech he convinced his audience that it should still be such, even when a woman was honored.

In the month since the election, hate crimes in New York City are 30% higher than they were at this same time last year. I do not believe that this is a coincidence. Hateful people have been given a voice through a leader who preached prejudice and misogyny on the campaign trail.

All that said, I not believe that the issues I’ve cited are the most pressing issue we have before us. What scares me the most is not who Donald Trump is although that is terrifying or who Donald Trump is surrounding himself with although that is equally terrifying. The most pressing issue before us is how Donald Trump was elected. We have become an electorate that can not separate fact from fiction. An electorate who gets their news from Facebook and never checks the facts. An electorate who watches and listens to only the news channels that speak the truth we have chosen to believe.

And I am fully a part of this electorate. I clicked through to many articles on Facebook. I watched MSNBC, read The New York Times and listened to NPR almost exclusively in the months leading up to the election. And as a result, I was emotionally and physically shocked on November 8th. I was unable to get warm for days following. My body literally went into shock that we had elected Donald Trump.

So for this and many others reasons, I have decided that I will focus my confusion, anger, sadness and energy on media literacy. I believe there is one thing that we, as a united electorate, can agree on. We need to get our news from trusted sources. We need to read and believe facts. And we need to stop spreading falsehoods. I believe that people on both sides of the aisle need to re-learn how to read and understand and define ‘news.’

I feel lucky to call Michelle Cuilla Lipkin a friend. And I also feel lucky that she is the Executive Director of the National Association of Media Literacy Education (NAMLE). As president of our middle school’s Home and School Association, I invited Michelle to come and speak with our community last year. At the time, I was concerned about the impact of social media on our children. I hoped to learn how to guide the girls as they navigated their social worlds. I wanted to learn how to teach them to understand the truth of what they read and saw on-line. These things are still important but now there is more. So very much more.

NAMLE’s mission is as follows: ”to expand and improve the practice of media literacy education in the United States. We define both education and media broadly.  Education includes both formal and informal settings, classrooms and living rooms, in school and after school, anywhere that lifelong learners can be reached.  Media includes digital media, computers, video games, radio, television, mobile media, print, and communication technologies that we haven’t even dreamed of yet.”

I plan to learn much more about NAMLE and their work. I plan to support them in any way I can. For now, I have donated to the organization because like all non-profit organizations, NAMLE needs money to do their work and they don’t have enough. If you are so inclined, I know that you donation would be appreciated and put to good use.

There will be more to come on this topic for sure. For now, stay tuned.

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Today I’m going to borrow a post idea from my one of favorite bloggers, Modern Mrs. Darcy. Each month, Anne writes a post called What I’m Into and I’m always excited to see what has caught her eye that month. So here goes…

What I’m Reading…

I have to admit that the election hit me hard and I really couldn’t concentrate on anything. Usually when I’m in a reading slump, I turn to mysteries and thrillers but for some reason, I downloaded The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory and it was the best possible pick. Being immersed a world so totally different from our own was exactly what I needed. And you know what? There was some pretty crazy political stuff going in the time of Henry VIII too.

What I’m Watching… 

This month I watched the third season of The Fall which was completely unrealistic but still super fun and the first few episode of season three of The Affair which might just be my current favorite show.

What I’m Talking About… 

Shortly after the election, I turned to Facebook and asked if anyone might want to read the book Hillbilly Elegy with me. Hillbilly Elegy is a memoir written by J.D. Vance who grew up in Appalachia and went on to graduate from Yale Law School. I was hoping that this book would teach me about a part of the electorate that voted for Donald Trump. I asked if anyone wanted to read with me and get together to discuss what we had learned. I expected a handful of people to respond. But… last night fifteen people, some I knew but many, many more friends of friends, joined at my favorite book store, The Curious Reader, to discuss the book, what we had learned and what we could do to learn more. I love the power of books to bring people together and I am thrilled that our group will be meeting again.

What I’m Writing… 

This was a month to get back to writing. I had been in a real slump and I realized that writing makes me feel better and it was time to get back to it. I spent ten days writing to short prompts with the super wise Jena Schwartz and now I’m in an interesting on-line class with Jessica Smock and Stephanie Sprenger of the HerStories Project called Using our Words to Change our Worlds. It is great to be putting pen to paper again. Or fingers to keys but you know what I mean.

What I’m Listening to… 

Podcasts, podcasts and more podcasts. A few of my current favorites are The Axe Files, From the Front Porch and What Should I Read Next.

So now it’s your turn. What were you in to this November? I’d love to know…

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I have been a Rodan + Fields consultant for six months. I know people were surprised that I joined a direct sales company. I know this because enough people told me directly that I was able to deduce that almost everyone thought the same thing. I understand the confusion. I was a writer, a reader and a teacher. I was not a business woman and I was especially not a sales woman.

Now though, I have a secret for you. I am a still a writer, a reader and a teacher. And I am a Rodan + Fields consultant. I have not changed as a person. I have only added to who I am.

I knew I wanted to join Rodan + Fields for the challenge. I wanted to do something new. I wanted to stretch my brain in different directions. I wanted to show the girls that I was working and contributing to our family’s income. So I started to do something totally out of my comfort zone. And it was scary. And I felt silly when I told people what I was doing. I felt judged. And I felt insecure. I was suddenly that woman who I had been avoiding for years. While many of my friends and family members have been amazingly supportive, I still questioned myself. But I held on because I had promised myself one year. I would not quit before the one year mark. And six months later, I have no intention of quitting.

Direct sales and network marketing are hard work. There are reach outs and coffees. There are phone calls and orders to place. There are posts to schedule and thank you notes to write. There are team members to mentor. But the actual work involved is not the hard part of this job. The hard part is ignoring both silent and verbal judgement of others.

The longer I spend in this line of work, the more confusing this judgement becomes. I represent a product created by doctors that people love and I share it with my friends. Do I make money off of my sales? Yes I do. And it’s good money too. Do I want others to join my team because I think they would enjoy the work as much as I do? Yes. And will I make more money when others join me in business? Yes, I will. And over time this money will have a significant impact on our family’s lifestyle.

I am an entrepreneur and I do the same things that other entrepreneurs do. Yet many judge the actions of network marketers in ways they do not judge other small business owners. People do not respond to emails, texts and phone calls because direct sales are uncomfortable and to some, annoying. And I can write this because I used to be on the other side of those e-mails, texts and phone calls. And I get it. I too ignored them. I skipped the parties. I forgot to RSVP. I let the coupon code expire without ordering. I declined the Facebook group invitation.

Now though, I have a different view of myself and of the women who surround me in direct sales. We are entrepreneurs. We are small business owners. We have found a career that fits into our family’s lifestyle. And we are making money doing it. And yes, we are asking our friends to support us both as friends and yes, maybe even financially.

We ask in the same way that your realtor friend asks you to consider her when you are selling your house. We ask in the same way that your yoga teacher friend asks you to give her class and her studio a try. We ask in the same way that your artist friend asks you to consider her for mural work when you decorate your nursery. And we ask in the same way that your banker friend wants you to say, ‘How’s work going? Is your commute any better?’ Or that your teacher friends want you to say, ‘How’s your class this year?’

I promise that your direct sales friends are no different than the other entrepreneurs and working moms that you know. We have found fulfilling work and we want to share it. That’s all. And if you are willing to engage in conversation with us about our products or our business as many of my friends have, I think you will be pleasantly surprised by what you learn.

 

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We have wanted our friend Patty to photograph the girls for years because she is simply my favorite photographer. Somehow it hasn’t happened. I’ve been worried about where we would take the photos. What the girls would wear. If the weather would be right. And on and on and on.

And then Patty posted pictures of her boys at Asbury Park. Please click here to see these pictures and you’ll understand why I called her and said, “I want the pictures that you took of the boys but with the girls in them.”

So one day this August, the girls and I headed down to Asbury Park with Patty. My only regret is that Rob was at work. I really don’t like staged pictures and didn’t think that I wanted any posed family pictures but I was wrong. We missed Rob and Patty and I joked that maybe we could photoshop him in. I’m thinking we will schedule another session with Patty soon so that Rob can be in the shots but for now, here are a few examples of the amazing photographs that Patty took that day.

I loved each picture more than the next. The girls did too. I told Patty that I wished she could have heard us as we looked through the gallery. We kept saying, “That’s my favorite one!” “No! That’s my favorite one!” We really couldn’t choose. But here are a few that we really love.

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Dear Caroline,

As I scrolled through pictures looking for one to use for today’s post, I recognized and remembered many of them but I had forgotten about this one. We had traveled with friends to the Outer Banks for a week and spent an evening exploring gigantic sand dunes. This was you at this age, ready to go and hard to hold back. You had a wide open space to run and you were ready to go.

As I think about what to say on your 13th birthday, writer’s block has kicked in in a big way. There is so much to say but as you enter the teenage years, I know that protecting your privacy is really, really important. I don’t want to get mushy or sentimental but it’s really hard. You are the girl that made me a mom and every day we travel this path together succeeding and making mistakes in equal measure. Being the first born is hard. I am learning about this mothering thing right along side you. Every decision I make is new. Knowing when to say no and when to let you go is a constant struggle.

I know I should struggle less. You are an amazing girl. You make smart and difficult decisions every day. You are loving sister (most of the time!) and an amazing daughter. You are a devoted friend and thoughtful student. You are a dedicated and a talented soccer player and watching your love of the game on and off the field is inspiring.

I hope you know that even when I struggle to let you grow it is not because I don’t trust you. It is because I love those days when I could hold you close and I know that mothering now is different. Now it is up to me to show you how to be in this world as your own person. And you are doing an amazing job. You are figuring it all out and I couldn’t be more proud.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl. We love you so very much!

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“We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.”

— William Faulkner

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Inspired by the amazing Modern Mrs. Darcy.

1. I miss writing in this space. 

I’m becoming a bit like a broken record with this but here it is again. I have not been consistent here and I miss it.

2. The Kale Broccoli Salad from Trader Joe’s with grilled chicken makes me like salads for lunch. 

I know that I should eat more salads but when I have them for lunch I feel so unsatisfied that I snack all afternoon long. I recently found the Kale Broccoli Salad kit from Trader Joe’s and it is so good! I have had it with our own grilled chicken but I have also added the Trader Joe’s grilled chicken for a completely cook-free lunch.

3. Taking pictures while walking makes the walking much more fun. 

I am on a constant journey to find exercise that doesn’t hurt my back. I keep thinking I’ve found just the thing and then I throw out my back, my shoulders get painfully sore or in the case of last week, I just tweak my back but it worries me enough to stop doing what I’m doing. When this happens, I come back again and again to walking. I’m pretty sure I am not getting enough exercise for my mood (or my over 40 metabolism!) when I walk but it is the right thing for my back these days. Having a camera with me at all times, thanks to my iPhone, makes the walks much less boring. I love spotting interesting things along the way and capturing them.

4. Reading ‘assigned’ books in community is one of my favorite things to do. 

I joined Modern Mrs. Darcy’s Summer Reading Club and I am loving it. We recently finished The One in a Million Boy and it was so great to read and discuss a book I wouldn’t have chosen on my own with a community of people who love reading as much as I do.

5. The Overcast app makes podcast listening super easy. 

I’ve been listening to podcasts for awhile now but I only started using Overcast this month. I’ve heard lots of people recommend the app as a way to streamline podcast listening and they were right. The system is easier (and prettier!) than the native iPhone app.

How about you? What did you learn in June?

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Caroline had a soccer tournament this weekend in Albany (well, really Schenectady, well really Scotia) but the point is, it was far away. Caroline joined a new club this summer and with the increased rigor of this club comes increased travel. This weekend’s tournament was already the second of the summer. Caroline and Rob went to the first tournament on their own but this time, we decided we should all go to support her and because if not, we were going to have a lot of weekends apart which made us sad.

Traveling two hours to watch two soccer games was tough to see to Katherine so I promised her an adventure, telling her that at some point during the day, we would leave the field and explore. I wasn’t sure what I would find in Scotia, NY. In fact, I never had heard of Scotia until we arrived but I figured we could find something interesting. Truth be told, I had imagined a lake or a waterfall or a park but instead, we found a library.

We drove away from the field to find ice coffee and adventure and as we left Dunkin Donuts, I spotted the library above. This tiny building, erected in the 1700’s, houses a few small rooms and many, many books.

Initially, it felt like a step back in time. The children’s department had a Fisher Price school house and Playskool puzzles that had to be as old as I am.

But they also had shelves and shelves of books.

I’m not sure where our next tournament will take us but we certainly enjoyed our first adventure.

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