Over the summer I read a post written by the talented Jennifer King in which she discussed concepts presented in the book, Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives, by Richard Swenson, M.D. Swenson’s premise is that we must build ‘margin’ in to our daily lives. We all need that cushion of time and relaxation to breathe and to focus on the important things.

In my comments on Jennifer’s post, I wrote,

“Perhaps this metaphor of the margins will be what I need. I have always done a fairly good job of maintaining free time but as my youngest gets older I feel myself slowly but surely filling up too much space on our calendar. The line from this that I hope most to remember is “To keep margin in my life, I know I’ll have to say no to things that are good.” It is the saying no to the things that are good that is so hard but so crucial.”

Tonight at soccer practice a group of stood in the dark, watching our seven year olds play under the lights. These babies who then had to go home, eat dinner, maybe do homework. We shared stories of older siblings overwhelmed by  pressure and of conversations with our husbands about why. Why we work so hard to provide this life for our children. This life that is both blessed and full of unprecedented stress.

I hope that in writing this and reminding myself of the concept of margin, that I can redirect myself as the craziness of fall continues to spin…

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When we were in Maine this summer we visited the most amazing place. The church above sat right on the water. Gorgeous architecture nestled in to perfect scenery. In the summer, in fact, the congregation meets in a space outside and soaks in the rocks and waves throughout the service.

I feel, this week, like I have been called upon to prayer a lot. And we aren’t really a family that does a lot of traditional praying. We have a friend from college who has been battling and beating aggressive cancer for six years. Yesterday we learned that he is really sick again. We have good friends who just lost their 15 year old dog, their ‘first baby’ as they call him. The news of world is heavy and scary to watch. While the fall air is full of beauty right now, it also feels full of sadness.

In lieu of bent knee prayer, I offer this picture of a beautiful space where prayers are abundant. Perhaps this is what the universe needs right now.

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A few months ago, I wrote a post called On My Nightstand. It ended up being a super fun way to capture life at the moment and I was thrilled when a few people did the same. I love a sneak peek into the way others live, don’t you?

This morning, I was starting into the refrigerator planning meals for the week and had a thought. How about a post called In My Fridge. So here goes…

A few of the things in my fridge this week…

Fruit and veggies. Usually lettuce, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, berries (all sorts), apples, lemons, limes and onions

Milk, cream, orange juice, apple juice, yogurt drinks and wine.

Eggs. Raw and hard boiled. I am on a big hard boiled egg kick. They are great for snacks or lunch and only Rob complains about the smell.

Cream cheese and butter. Katherine considers butter a food group and both girls are loving bagels right now. Cinnamon raison for Caroline and poppy for Katherine.

Left over sauce from my  mother-in-law. I love having her food in my fridge.

Left over chili made by my amazingly talented friend Nicky. If you live locally and find yourself short on time to cook, call me and I will give you Nicky’s information. She cooks homemade meals twice a week and will deliver them to your door for a super reasonable price.

And

Walnuts for my oatmeal and apples.

 

 

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“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Today I…

See…fall coming to our neighborhood. Leaves are turning, but only at the tips of the tops of the trees. The light is changing. It is getting darker earlier. When I picked Katherine up at soccer practice last night, the girls were shadows running on the field and we could see a nearly full moon rising as we drove home.

Feel... cold weather coming. We could see our breath in the morning as we waited for our neighbor to walk to school. Fleeces are on for the morning walk but they are stuffed deep inside backpacks for the trip home.

Touch…sweaters and sweatshirts for the cool morning air. And then still shorts and dresses once the weather turns after lunch.

Smell… fresh cut grass as the final preparations are put on yards for the cold weather to come. Bushes are trimmed and branches are picked up from the grass so they aren’t buried when the snow comes.

Taste... different foods and different drinks. Pears and apples in my oatmeal instead of blueberries and peaches. Spinach and tortellini soup for lunch instead of salads or smoothies. Tea in the afternoons instead of ice water.

Fall is coming…

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I feel like I’ve spent a lot of energy lately fighting my soccer mom status. I even got rid of my mini-van in a mini-revolt. I had always promised myself that I wouldn’t over-schedule our family but I have. The girls both want to do so many things. Dance and act and play soccer. And in today’s day and age, there really is no half hearted way to do any of these things. Seasons are long (and multi-seasonal), practices are often and rehearsals are frequent. Sometimes I want to organize and overthrow the culture of youth activities in America so that my girls can be bored and just be children. Sometimes though, it seems like it might be time to stop fighting it and start just living it.

In an attempt to do that, I have compiled a list  things I like about our activity filled lives.

• The girls truly love all the things they are doing. They really don’t complain as we shuttle from one activity to another
• We are all spending lots of time outside in this beautiful fall weather.
• The girls are meeting kids from all the schools in our district and they are each making new friends. When our six elementary schools combine into only two middle schools, the girls will see so many more familiar faces than they would have without their activities.
• I am also getting to make new friends as we share stories of our overwhelm, funny stories and recipes while standing on the sidelines.
• The girls have an opportunity to support each other at their games. Caroline was awfully confused when she realized that after years of Katherine cheering for her, she would have to cheer this year too.
• Because we have less time to spend together as a family in the evenings, I am more cognizant of really paying attention when we are all here. Less e-mail, Facebook and Instagram really can be a good thing (I think!).

I’m looking to grow this list… Feel free to share anything else you think I can add…

 

 

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It was after dinner that I realized how truly askew our world has become.

I had followed the news of the shooting at the Navy Yard. I felt the familiar drop in my stomach when I heard the phrase ‘breaking news.’I had listened to the news when I was in the car and had checked in on the internet a few times. But the more I heard, the more I stopped really listening. There were no children hurt. The event did not appear to be terrorism. Is that the bar that we now hold for disasters? If I, a self proclaimed news junkie and worrier, was barely following the story, there are surely many, many people who didn’t even know anything had happened.

Thirteen people died and many more were injured and I didn’t call Rob at work to talk about it. I had lunch with a friend and neither of us even mentioned the event. A man, with a history of violence, carrying an automatic rifle, killed thirteen people. And it did not consume my day or my conversations.

I have to wonder what this means.

And I have to wonder when we, as a country, are going to talk seriously about gun control and the treatment of mental illness.

Perhaps now?

 

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Thanks to Anne at Modern Mrs. Darcy, I am doing a much better job than usual at keeping track of my books.

Here is the Twitterature version of my reads from the last month.

Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight. While on vacation I reached out to Facebook friends for book recommendations. I was looking for an easy read but not too easy and the kind of book that your family does not want you to read on vacation because you read instead play. This story of a single mom after the apparent suicide of her only child was a perfect suggestion. Thanks Amy!

The Art Forger by Barbara Shapiro. The Art Forger was another suggestion from my friend Amy and another perfect pick. Part love story, part art history lesson and part mystery. This one was hard to stop reading.

The Silent Wife by A.S.A. Harrison. I had read that the Silent Wife was this summer’s Gone Girl. I agree but take note; I didn’t like Gone Girl.

The Blue Asylum by Kathy Hepinstall. Blue Asylum was this month’s selection for my new library book club. There were parts of this book that were interesting but overall, I felt this story of a woman wrongly sent to an insane asylum by her husband during the Civil War was rushed and unbelievable.

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“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life and elevating them to an art”

-William Morris (discovered in Tracey Clark‘s Elevate the Everyday)

 

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Over the past few weeks, the fall schedule has loomed. There have been early soccer practices and changing commitments. I have edited and deleted dates, the whole time, my head spinning with worry. Too much, too little, too something. There is no doubt that we are over-scheduled. The girls want to learn, explore, practice and grow and in their excitement, we have said yes a few too many times.

We will make it through the fall with planning and deep breaths. In the meantime, I have been controlling the things I can and trying to let go of what I can’t.

One thing I can control is meals and as a result I have been asking anyone and everyone for easy, cook ahead dinners.

I would love to grow my repertoire. If you have ways to bring order to the chaotic dinner hour, please share.

In the meantime, enjoy this recipe below given to me by a friend this week.

Crock Pot Shredded Chicken

• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1/2cup ketchup
• 1/3 cup cider vinegar
• ¼ cup packed brown sugar
• ¼ cup tomato paste
• 2 tablespoons sweet paprika
• 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
• 2 tablespoons yellow mustard
• 1.5 teaspoons salt
• 1.25 teaspoons ground black pepper
• 4 bone-in, w/skin chicken breasts (2 pkgs split breasts)

Serve on potato rolls

Put all ingredients into the crock pot. Cook on high for 3 hrs or so and then low for a bit and then shred the chicken taking the bones and skin out and then put the chicken. back in the sauce on warm until dinner. I make a 2^nd batch of sauce on the stove and have that on the side in case people like more sauce.

 

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