Somehow this baby is now ten and this Grandad has been gone for 7 years. Each year Groundhog’s Day comes and I add another tick to the calendar. Seven years now without Dad. It feels both so long ago and then like yesterday. When I think about the things that he has missed it feels like an eternity. What he would have given to watch the girls run down a soccer field or shoot a basketball. He probably would even brought himself to enjoy a dance recital or a class play now and again.

When I was thinking about what to write today, I remembered the list that Rob created to read at Dad’s funeral. We still refer to this list often and laugh really hard when we do. My dad was one lovable and quirky guy.

So with credit to Rob here it is…

Things I learned from Arthur

1. Politics: Have a problem with the direction our county is heading?  Well, after numerous letters to the editor and phone calls to the White House, try making a bumper sticker. People will love it: “We Need Leaders”
2. Golf: When you’re watching the US Open finals tomorrow, remember the tournament is not over after the final shot and the player hugs his wife and family. Sometimes the player forgets to sign his scorecard and is disqualified!
3. Sports on Television: Why bother listening to the experts giving their commentary?  I recommend stealing the clicker from your host and hitting the mute button. You can share much more insightful comments than the broadcasters with out all of the background noise.
4. Travel:  Why bother taking a flight from Texas to the east coast?  A leisurely drive over the course of week is much more relaxing. In addition, feel free to ask around for the best onion rings in the state you’re traveling through. It is often worth going a few hours out of your way for good onion rings.
5. Airplanes:  Airlines are never on time. Don’t pay attention to those statistics that claim 95% on time arrivals.  If you’re flying, it’s a guarantee there will be significant delays, probably weather related, even if the forecast is calling for sunny blue skies.  So, don’t forget to plan accordingly.
6. Don’t feel like doing the dishes one night?  After your host is just about done and has 2 dishes left, ask from the other room “need help with the dishes?”  It works like a charm.
7. Have a dirty car?  Don’t bother cleaning it yourself or traveling to a car wash. Find out what night the local minor league baseball team is having the “dirtiest car in the parking lot” contest. You’ll be a sure bet to win a free car wash.
8. Don’t ever pay for a ticket to a minor league baseball game. Instead, get a job selling programs for the summer. You’ll have free admission every night!

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“October extinguished itself in a rush of howling winds and driving rain and November arrived, cold as frozen iron, with hard frosts every morning and icy drafts that bit at exposed hands and faces.”

-J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

When I looked for quotes about winter I didn’t want one about how pretty it is. I agree. It is pretty. But it is really, really cold. I have taken no pictures of the girls this week or of any of the prettiness outside. I am afraid my fingers will fall off if I take off my mitten so  the quote above seemed just about right. Biting hard frosts and icy drafts. That’s what I would have to say about winter right now…

 

For more moments, visit Amanda’s Soule Mama where she describes her Friday posts this way, “A Friday ritual. A single photo- no words-capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause and remember.”

 

 

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I often bemoan the lack of appropriate television for children. There is great pre-school programming and then it all goes downhill- quickly. We have tried nearly every show on the Disney Channel because that is what “everyone watches.” While I know that my oldest often exaggerates with the ‘everyone’ comments, this one isn’t far from the truth. If the tween set is watching network programing, chances are they are watching the Disney Channel. This means they are watching shows about middle and high schoolers. Not only are the story lines about children far older than they are but the shows are poorly written and the characters are completely disrespectful.

In an attempt to find fun and appropriate things for the girls to watch we have gotten creative. The girls have watched entire seasons of The Brady Bunch, Full House and The Cosby Show. Right now, we are experimenting with reality shows. I am honestly finding that if chosen well, these show are more appropriate than the Disney Channel. Currently, they are loving John and Kate Plus Eight and American Idol.

So you can imagine my excitement when Rob told me last week that there was going to be a new Cosby Show. It’s as if the Cos had heard my request. His comments about the show? “”There is a viewership out there that wants to see comedy, and warmth, and love, and surprise, and cleverness, without going into the party attitude” and there is an audience that “would like to see a married couple that acts like they love each other, warts and all, children who respect the parenting, and the comedy of people who make mistakes. Warmth and forgiveness.”

Thank you Bill Cosby! We can’t wait!

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Yesterday was a big day. Some of my readers are right there with me and some are saying, “What?”

In case you are not sure what I am talking about, yesterday, the American Library Association Youth Media Awards were announced. This means that there are many children’s books now wearing shiny new medals. This day really does feel like the Oscars for me. I followed blogs and Twitter feeds in the days leading up to the event to see what books the experts predicted to win. Yesterday morning, I wasn’t able to completely clear my schedule to watch the event streaming live which I’ve done in the past and I was really sad. Fortunately, thanks to Twitter I was able to tell what was going on as I sat and waited for an appointment.

Of course, I love seeing who all the winners are. I was thrilled that there were some titles I already loved and some titles that I haven’t read yet to add to my list. The most exciting part for me though was that I know one of the winners.

Years ago, I worked at a small school in Richmond, Virginia and had the most amazing client. This most amazing client also had the most amazing mother. Meg Medina quickly became a friend and a mentor to me. I could talk to her for hours about books and writing and children. When we knew each other well, she would write in the corners of time between mothering and working. Fortunately for all of us, after we left Richmond, Meg took the leap and became the writer that she always was.

And now one of her books, Yaqui Delagado Wants to Kick Your Ass, has a shiny new sticker on it. Meg is the 2014 recipient of the Pura Belpre. As taken from the ALA website: “The Pura Belpré Award, established in 1996, is presented annually to a Latino/Latina writer and illustrator whose work best portrays, affirms, and celebrates the Latino cultural experience in an outstanding work of literature for children and youth.”

I could not be more proud of my friend. And I could not be more excited for this symbol of a dream realized.

Congratulations Meg!

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I recently discovered the blog Elements of Style and have been loving what I’ve seen. Before this weekend, my favorite post was titled Fashion Friday: Olivia Pope. It’s Handled. After all, I would dress like Olivia Pope every day if it wouldn’t get me weird looks at elementary school pick up and the basketball bleachers.

This weekend, though, I discovered Erin’s post titled A New Low about the above ad that runs in February’s Harpers Bazaar. If you haven’t seen Erin’s post, do go read it because she shares many wise words.

I truly don’t know that I have the words to express how this ad makes me feel. As a woman and more importantly as the mother of two girls, I find this ad to be disgusting. I don’t know exactly what has to take place for an ad to be placed in a magazine but I suspect that more than a handful of people are involved in it’s creation and execution. The fact that even one person would think it was appropriate to run this ad is stunning to me.

I know there are people who are naturally very skinny. I was called ‘green bean’ as a child and I have a daughter who could easily be called the same. That said, the woman pictured above does not remind me of a green bean. If I was with her, I would not call her cute pet names. I would drive her to the nearest eating disorder clinic as soon as I could.

And until society stops admiring unobtainable thinness, these eating disorder clinics will be full to capacity. Until magazines stop celebrating a female form that looks sick and starving, I will have to worry about my girls each and every time they look in a mirror. Will they be comparing their beautiful selves to an image like this? And if they decide that ‘thin’ is the goal, will this be their definition of thin?

As one woman and one mother, I feel helpless against the tide of society. For now, all I can do is write about this wrong and hope that others will read these words and remember the pressures that are put on our girls each and every day. And while we remember, let’s remind our girls of what is real and what is beautiful.

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“Blessings sometimes show up in unrecognizable disguises.”

-Janette Oke

So these are not the moments I would have chosen for the week but the stomach bug had other ideas…

For more moments, visit Amanda’s Soule Mama where she describes her Friday posts this way, “A Friday ritual. A single photo- no words-capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause and remember.”

 

 

 

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A few weeks ago, Shana and I kicked off a series about Facebook and Twitter. I was comfortable in the world of Facebook but scared to death of what went on over in the Twitterverse. And vice versa for Shana. Today we thought we would come back and share a bit of what we have learned exploring our new platforms.

To be honest, I will say that Twitter still confuses me a bit. It is just not intuitive for me although I know it is for many. That said, I have come to appreciate it and am more motivated than ever to really figure it out. In just the short time that I have worked on it I have made new connections and found more and more interesting things to read.

My highlight during the month? After writing a review of Ann Patchett’s latest, This is the Story of a Happy Marriage for Great New Books, Parnassus Books (owned by Ann Patchett!) started following me on Twitter. I think that means she may have read my review which makes me giddy!

So, when I tried to sit down and write what I have learned I got a bit overwhelmed again. I am still not sure about the logistics. To favorite or to retweet? To schedule? And how often? Follow everyone who follows me?

I know I am getting bogged down in the details so for now, I truly think that…

Everything I Need to Know About Twitter I Learned in Kindergarten

(with apologies to Robert Fulghum)

1. Share everything: Well, maybe not everything because that would get annoying. Re-tweet a few things a day.

2. Play fair: If someone mentions you a bunch on Twitter, mention them too.

3. Don’t hit people: This just sort of always applies.

4. Put thngs back where you found them: Always include a link to ideas that aren’t yours.

5. Clean up your own mess: Apologize if something you say makes someone upset. This week I watched a very public argument between two popular tweeters. It was really interesting to watch them truly apologize in such few words.

6. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you: I can’t edit this one out even though it has nothing to do with Twitter. I love cookies.

7. Live a balanced life – learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some: Twitter can suck up a lot of time. Pay attention and set limits on yourself.

8. Take a nap every afternoon: Different think tanks report differently as far as the best time to tweet but there are trends. Pay attention to when your tweets are re-tweeted and favorited. These are the best times to tweet. Go ahead and nap at the other times.

9. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together: Tackling a project like this with a friend is the way to go. It was great to go to Shana with questions during this steep learning curve.

10. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Stryrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that: When you get cool followers, don’t be afraid to do the happy dance. Remember the Ann Patchett story? Totally did a happy dance.

So hopefully I will remember what I just wrote and not let perfection get in the way of good. Twitter is fun and a great way to make connections with people. I can’t wait to continue the learning process.

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We had hoped to go skiing over the long weekend but some early weekend germs but a stop to that plan. By Monday, everyone was healthy and a bit stir crazy. None of us really felt like skiing but we wanted to do something and get out of the house and off the couch. We threw around a bunch of ideas that no one really liked and then Caroline suggested that we go rock climbing. She had attended a birthday party at an indoor rock climbing gym and loved it so we decided to give it a try.

We were really impressed by how hard the girls worked. They were both determined not only to reach the top but to try harder and harder walls each time they climbed. Eventually their arms tired out and they moved back to slightly easier walls but they were excited for the added challenge of wearing a blind fold to climb.

Neither Rob nor I climbed but I must say, I’m thinking we should have given it a try. There is something to be said for doing something new and different and a little bit scary. Maybe next time…

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Today at church, our minister spoke of the darkness and hate that filled our own community’s history. We live in a northern New Jersey town that you often think is free from the ugliness of our country’s past. He reminded us, however, of the legacy that even this town must bear.

The following are two of the shocking facts that he shared today:

As recently as 1945, our town’s realtors operated with an understanding that homes would be sold to only white, Christians. 1945 people. That is not that long ago.

And if you attend the exhibit at our local historical society, you can see a Klu Klux Klan uniform worn by members in a group that existed in our village.

As I sat and listened, I was shocked but also reminded of how full our country is of this history. If this town, fully in the north, bears this type of history, it is painful to remember what was going on to our south.

Our minister went on to remind us that we must remain awake and aware of the social injustices that exist today. He told us that Martin Luther King once said, “There comes a time when silence is betrayal.” King was referencing the Vietnam War when he said this but of course, the message applies to any and all injustice.

So today when we stop to remember Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy, let us remember to speak out in the silence. Only then will the injustice stop.

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When Rob arrived home last night he told Katherine that he thought her haircut was cute.

This conversation followed.

Katherine: “No Daddy. It’s not cute.”

Rob: “Oh. What is it then?”

Katherine: “It is BEAUTIFUL!!!”

May she always have this self-confidence because that is beautiful.

For more moments, visit Amanda’s Soule Mama where she describes her Friday posts this way, “A Friday ritual. A single photo- no words-capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause and remember.”

 

 

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