Stacey Loscalzo

Nov 06

Sisters

by Stacey

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As an only child, I marvel at the world of sisters almost everyday. There is a lot that I want to write one day about this. This idea of being an only child and refereeing sibling battles. And being an only child and witnessing the most amazing love between two people that I have really ever seen.

For now though, I want to write about how these two people can have such an amazing range of feelings towards each other.

The girls only had school on Monday and Tuesday so that their teachers can participate in the New Jersey teachers convention later in the week. Because of this, their teachers chose to give no homework this week. As a parent who would ok if there was never any homework, I really looked forward to these two days.

Monday night started well but pretty quickly the girls started to fight. And they fought pretty consistently until they fell asleep. And then Tuesday night, they played happily for close to two hours without complaint.

How? I don’t think I would have ever had friends or found a husband if I loved a person on one day with the same strength that I disliked them the next. For those of you who are siblings and who are raising siblings, do you find this back and forth unique to sisters and brothers?

 

 

13 Comments

  1. Kristen says:

    I cannot wait to read your future post about being an only child raising multiple children, primarily because I have the complete opposite fascination myself: my husband and I each have siblings, yet we are raising an only child (by choice). I have a brother so I am not sure whether that means I would have had a different experience had he been a sister instead, but I imagine it would. I do think the emotional range, particularly if they are only a few years apart, is typical. It certainly was our situation. Blood boiling anger at him one day (over something silly I’m sure) and then so grateful to have someone by my side on the boring trips with our parents to Montgomery Ward to pick out carpet. There is a mighty pendulum that swings between siblings, isn’t there!?

    • Stacey says:

      How interesting! The opposite situation for sure. I hope you write more about parenting an only child- I’d love to read about it! 

  2. Johanna says:

    My brother and I would fight like cats and dogs growing up, now we’re best friends. I watch my boys slug it out one day and stick up for each other the next day if there is a problem in the park with another child.  Having a sibling means you have each other’s back through the thick and thin. 

  3. Shana Norris says:

    Yes! I do think the back and forth is unique to siblings.  Although my husband would say I’m that way with him some days 🙂  My sister and I were exactly like you describe your girls.  Today, she’s one of my best friends, and while I include her in that small group, she’s unique from all the others in a way that only a sister could be.

    My kids? Ugh.  Mostly they’re fighting like cats and dogs, but there are the rare (but, thankfully, ever increasing as they get older) moments when they settle in for hours to build with LEGOS, or play Minecraft on their Kindles, or do whatever it is they do in the yard on a warm, sunny day.  

  4. Susan Ito says:

    Stacey, I can relate to this so much! I was also an only child myself, and I almost went mad during my daughters’ childhood. I think I overreacted way too much during their squabbles. They didn’t phase my husband (1 of 3) but to me they were almost unbearable. I am pretty sure I added to their tensions, and there were YEARS when we could actually not take family vacations together (my husband would take one, and I would take the other, but never the 4 of us – it was too painful). But paradoxically, now they are inseparable best friends. I never would have predicted this, but I am grateful (and a little jealous).

    • Stacey says:

      Wow Susan. So interesting! My husband doesn’t react either and he did grow up with a sister. I think some of the things my oldest says to my youngest are so mean and he will just shrug his shoulders as if it is all so normal. Perhaps it is but with no frame of reference, it is so hard to watch! So good to get the opinion of another ‘only!’

  5. Kim says:

    Yes! And when I look back on my childhood with my brother I can say without a doubt my mother most likely asked herself the same question 🙂 We were back and forth all the time, one day no problems the next day so many problems.

  6. Stacey — I can unequivocally relate to this post! Marc is the youngest of five children. He remains unfazed by any bickering between our two, whereas I’m usually wounded after witnessing any arguments or tears. He often reminds me not to intervene when they fight, but to step back and let them develop their own relationship. Great post!

    • Stacey says:

      It is so hard, right?! I am constantly afraid that the girls are giving each other lists a mile long to bring to their therapists in later years and Rob barely bats an eye! 

  7. justine says:

    love this picture, I don’t understand dynamics of sisters, I am the youngest of three and haven’t had a good relationship with either of my sisters but my children are close as brother and sister.

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